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Don’t Lean In, Root down.

on May 6, 2013 in Working Professional.

For all the rah-rah around leaning in, I can’t help but think if a man wrote the book it would have received a stronger title – like Balls to the Wall or Crushing It or Up Your Compete Level. Leaning in reminds me of serving tea. “Oh excuse me, could you move your arm, I just need to lean in and set down your tea, cupcake, napkin…” I’ve been chewing on the notion of leaning in for a while. Like many who have commented before me, it all depends on 1) your priorities and 2) your resources. Without knowing if a woman is really clear on these aspects, telling someone to lean in is apt to get you the middle finger vs. a hi-five. And the reality is that priorities and resources shift all the time. Today, I want to stay home all the time and have my husband remain on paternity forever so we can maximize time with the baby. Tomorrow, I want to go to work and...

When I Talk About My Daughter

on Apr 21, 2013 in Life, Mom.

When I talk about my daughter and not politics, the economy, social justice or the Kardashians, it’s not to brag or boast, it’s not to seek accolades or to stave off judgement, nor is it prove my worth or value or exemplary achievements as a mother, and it’s certainly not to bore you to death.

Less smart, More wise

on Apr 10, 2013 in Mom., Work

At seven months pregnant, an acquaintance told me I’d never be as smart as I was before. I’ve read research both confirming and contradicting that information. They say incubating the baby takes a toll on your brain, diminishes capacity by 20% or so. However, apparently at some point, the brain actually increases its capacity – actually surpassing your pre-pregnancy brain. I can’t remember when that is suppose to happen, but I can’t wait.

Most days as I exit my house, I have to ask myself whether I’m wearing pants.

Butts-in-Seats

on Feb 27, 2013 in Mom., Working Professional.

I can’t deny that I’ve been a bit voyeurish watching Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer balance her executive role and new motherhood. I’ve tried to refrain from writing about my thoughts and opinions on any of it because they’d just add to the cacophony of rants about balance, working moms, women in the workplace, etc. But my self control lost the battle today. Her situation is interesting to me because 1) she’s not that much older than me and 2) she had a kid just after me. In fact, I posted this lovely photo on Facebook close to her due date with the caption: “I’m not sleeping, I’m dreaming up ways to run a Fortune 500 company.” I certainly was envious of her ability to take a two week maternity leave. More than envious, I was bewildered at how she did it? I could have used some tips. I saw her as really living into Sheryl Sandberg’s...

Eight months on the dot

on Feb 13, 2013 in Mom.

She slept through the night. And mom did too.

Mothering

on Feb 10, 2013 in Mom., Working Professional.

Mothering is an integral part of Motherhood. Each day, a significant part of my brain and body are devoted to ensuring the needs and wants of my daughter are met. I am wrapped up in her schedule, her drama, and her delights. There are days that I willingly do it, there are days when I fight it, but in all days I engage in the process of mothering. It takes all of me. And that’s the gig of Motherhood. Last week, I started back at work, part time. I was happy to be welcomed and wanted back. Knowing my time would be limited I set clear intentions for myself on my role and priorities. Being excited to rejoin the team, I wanted to focus on where I’d give most value and where my expertise lay. Throughout the week as the pace of work and amount of needs increased, my resolve to stick to my intentions started to diminish. Rather, I found myself in a productive “auto”...

Gradually, then Suddenly

on Jan 30, 2013 in Life, Mom.

A colleague once said that things happen gradually, then suddenly. He was referring to events of the workplace – creating strategy, building trust, losing trust, moving on. Still, as I look at the events of the past seven months, all I can think is “gradually, then suddenly.”

One of Those Guys

on Jan 7, 2013 in Mom., Working Professional.

I married a man who said, “If we ever have kids, I’d love to stay at home them.” Slam dunk. A core reason for dating-then-marrying him was this very feminist perspective and his understanding of my (insane, at times) desire to work. As we saw into our future, we embraced the notion of one parent staying home with our future kids. We both knew it was more likely to be him than me. So we moved to Canada. Quite simply, the Canadian year-long paternity leave option* drove our decision to say yes to a new job offer. For a newly married couple with plans for kids, we saw this as the best opportunity to craft our dream parenting scenario. See ya later Family & Medical Leave Act and your paltry 12 weeks. Fast-forward five years. It took us longer than expected to get pregnant. In that time, as we watched our friends and colleagues have babies, the shiny gloss of...